walking.

I HATE the bus. I have all sorts of views on the state of public transport here, and I don't recommend you ask me about them, because I will RANT like a loony. But speaking of loonies, I caught the bus yesterday for the first time in a while, and - surprise surprise - there were a few travelling with me. Sometimes it's hard to know whether to laugh and keep eavesdropping, or to run a million miles. In this case, I chose the former, primarily because I didn't have much choice in the matter.

There were about 5 people who got on with me, and we all got stuck clumped next to the driver while this woman blocked the way with her pusher after her 4 year old ran off the bus. At least, that's what it looked like to us. It turned out she was actually trying to get off, and as soon as the bus driver told us this, we all climbed back out so she could get off. One man actually helped the woman lift the pram out of the bus. I got the last free seat, right in front of two very interesting women.

(They're in capitals because they were speaking VERY loudly, and in case you're wondering, they weren't Cockney - they were using actual naughty words)

Woman 1: 'I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EFFIN' RUDE SOME EFFIN' PEOPLE EFFIN' ARE'
Woman 2: 'I KNOW'
Woman 1: 'PEOPLE JUST DON'T HAVE NO EFFIN' RESPECT FOR EFFIN' BABIES THOSE EFFIN' PEOPLE WOULDN'T GET OUT OF THE WAY AIN'T THEY GOT NO EFFIN' BRAINS'
Woman 2: 'I KNOW'
Woman 1: 'THEY'RE LUCKY IT WASN'T ME WITH THE EFFIN BABY I WOULD'VE GIVEN EM WHAT FOR'
Woman 2: 'I KNOW. SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T HAVE ANY EFFIN MANNERS'.

This carried on for quite a while, until the conversation morphed, and it became clear that they knew the woman who'd gotten off with the 2 kids.

Woman 1: 'SHE'S SO YOUNG TO HAVE 2 KIDS. SHE HAD KANE WHEN SHE WAS ONLY 15 SO EFFIN YOUNG'
Woman 2: 'WELL I HAD KHRYSTAL WHEN I WAS ONLY JUST TURNED 16'
Woman 1: 'THAT'S TRUE LUV, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT'
Woman 2: 'BUT THEN AGAIN, I NEVER STARTED TAKING DRUGS UNTIL KHRYSTAL WAS 3'.

I know I'm very sheltered, and maybe a bit judgy, but I think I'm going back to walking home. I guess I'll be taking my chances with the fellow who, a few weeks ago, very politiely asked if he could 'please have a close look at [my] breasts'.

NO NO NO NO NO.

Seriously, you just can't make this stuff up.